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Dealing with Worries and Stress

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

category: Coping with Adversity

source: Islam-QA.com

reads: 26198

... continued from Page 5

Their advice and opinions are among the things that can be of the greatest help in remaining steadfast at times of calamity. The Sahaabah used to complain to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about the torture they were suffering:

Khabbaab ibn al-Aratt (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "We complained to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he was reclining on his cloak in the shade of the Ka'bah. We said to him: 'Why do you not ask Allaah to help us (grant us victory)? Why do you not pray to Allaah for us?' He said, 'A man from the people before you would be placed in a hole dug for him, then they would bring a saw and cut his head in two, yet that would not make him renounce his faith. They would use an iron comb to drag the flesh and nerves from his bones, yet that would not make him renounce his faith. By Allaah, this matter will be completed (i.e. Islam will be perfected and will prevail) until a rider travelling from Sana' to Hadramawt will fear nobody but Allaah or the attack of a wolf on his sheep, but you are too impatient.'"

The Taabi'een also complained to the Sahaabah. Al-Zubayr ibn 'Adiyy said: "We came to Anas ibn Maalik and complained to him about what we were suffering at the hands of al-Hajjaaj. He told us: "Be patient, for there will come no time but the time after it is worse, until you meet your Lord. I heard that from your Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)."

So the Muslim will hear from the scholars and leaders words which will help him and alleviate his pain, distress and anxiety.

Similarly, one can also seek the help of sincere brothers, wise relatives and faithful spouses. When Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her) felt distress, she complained to her husband 'Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him). 'Abd-Allaah ibn 'Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) tells us the story: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to visit Faatimah, but he found a curtain over her door, so he did not enter. It was very rare for him to enter without greeting her so when 'Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) came, he saw that she was worried and upset. He asked, "What is the matter?" She said, "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to me, but he did not come in." So 'Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) went to him and said: "O Messenger of Allaah, Faatimah feels very upset because you came to her but you did not come in." He said, "I have nothing to do with these worldly things and fancy decorations." So 'Ali went to told Faatimah what the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had said. She said, "Ask the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) what I should do with it." He said, "tell her to send it to Banu So-and-so." (It was a curtain that was decorated with embroidery and so on).

Going to a man who is wise and has sound opinions can also help to dispel anxiety.

Al-Mugheerah, the freed slave of al-Waleed, said: "I entered upon al-Waleed and found him looking worried. I asked, "What is worrying you, O Ameer al-Mu'mineen?" He said, "The number of Muslims has increased, and the mosque is becoming too small for them. I offered them money for the rest of this church, so that I could take it and add it to the mosque, to make the place big enough for the Muslims, but they refused." Al-Mugheerah said: "O Ameer al-Mu'mineen, I have an idea that may relieve your worry." He asked, "What is it?" I said: "When the Sahaabah took Damascus, Khaalid ibn al-Waleed entered through the Eastern Gate, conquering by the sword. When the people heard of this, they rushed towards Abu 'Ubaydah (who was laying siege to another gate of the city), asking him for protection. He granted them protection, so they opened the Gate of Jaabiyah for him. Abu 'Ubaydah entered peacefully, having made a truce with the people. We should find out how far the military seizure of land reached, and take it, but the areas covered by the truce should be left in their hands. I hope that all of the church will be on land seized militarily, so that you can incorporate it into the mosque." Al-Waleed said: "You have made me feel much better. Take care of this matter yourself." So al-Mugheerah took care of it; he surveyed the area extending from the Eastern Gate towards the Gate of Jaabiyah, as far as Sooq al-Rayhaan, and found that the military seizure of territory had continued as far as a little more than four cubits beyond the Great Arch, so the church could be incorporated into the mosque. So al-Waleed sent word to the Christians to tell them: "The whole of this church lies in the territory which was seized militarily, so it belongs to us, not to you." They said: "Initially you offered us money and land, and we refused. Be generous and give us what you offered us originally, so that we may settle this matter peaceably, and we will give you the rest of the church." So the matter was settled peaceably." (Al-Bidaayah wal-Nihaayah fi Seerat al-Waleed).

The person who is distressed or worried should know that after hardship comes ease

So he should think positively and realize that Allaah will make a way out for him. The more intense his stress and depression is, the closer he is to relief and a way out.

Allaah says in Soorat al-Sharh (interpretation of the meaning):

"So verily, with the hardship, there is relief, verily, with the hardship, there is relief." [al-Sharh 94:5-6].

In effect, hardship is mentioned once, and relief is mentioned twice, because the definite article (al) indicates that the hardship mentioned in the first aayah quoted is the same as that mentioned in the second, whereas the fact that relief is mentioned in an indefinite form (with tanween) shows that the relief mentioned in the second aayah is different from that mentioned in the first.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father): "Know that victory (or achievement) comes through patience, and that ease comes through hardship".

Another remedy for distress is certain kinds of food

Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) reports that 'A'ishah used to order talbeen for people who were sick or had been stricken by tragedy, and she would say: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: "Talbeen warms the heart of the sick person and alleviates some of a person's grief."

Al-Bukhaari also narrated from 'A'ishah, the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that whenever a member of her family died, and the women gathered together then dispersed, except for her family and close friends, she would ask for a pot of talbeen, then she would cook it, make thareed [a dish of sopped bread, meat and broth] and pour the talbeen over it, then tell the women: "Eat from it, for I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say that talbeen is the cure for the heart of the sick person and alleviates some of a person's grief."

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