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Affection and Compassion Between Spouses

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

category: Marriage Advice

source: Islam-QA.com

reads: 11797

... continued from Page 1

Is this how you take a trust from Allaah, O slave of Allaah?! 

Is this how you deal with the word of Allaah, O slave of Allaah?! 

Is this how you respond to the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said: "I urge you to treat women well"? (narrated by al-Bukhaari (3331) and Muslim (1468))

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (3895) and Ibn Majaah (1977); classed as aheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

Or is this what living with them honourably means? Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "and live with them honourably." [al-Nisa' 4:19]

Is this what taking care of them means? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband's house and children and is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of his master's wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock." Narrated by al-Bukhaari (893) and Muslim (1829)

Have you not heard what the great Sahaabi, 'Aa'idh ibn 'Amr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said when he entered upon 'Ubayd-Allaah ibn Ziyaad, the oppressive governor? The Sahaabi said to him: O my son, I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: "The worst of guardians are those who are cruel. Beware lest you be one of them." Narrated by Muslim (1830)

Are you not afraid that you may be one of them? 

Have you never heard that everyone gets headaches sometimes.  

We have never heard of anything stranger or weirder than this. 

Or perhaps you need some proof? Listen to this, O slave of Allaah: 

It was narrated that 'Aa'ishah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came back from al-Baqee' and I had a headache and was saying, Oh my head. He said, "Rather, I should say, Oh my head, O 'Aa'ishah." Narrated by Ibn Majaah (1465); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Takhreej al-Mishkaat (5970)

You should remember that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) died, 'Aa'ishah was eighteen years old, which means that when she complained of this headache she was younger than eighteen, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) believed her and treated her with compassion. 'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) was asked: What did the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) do in his house? She said: He used to serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go out to pray. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (676)

This is evidence if you need it, but we do not think that you need evidence. Rather you need to act. The way is ahead of you but you are not moving. 

We have spoken to you at length, but if a person does not benefit from a little then he will not benefit from a lot.  

You should think that you may be afflicted one day and you will need this weak woman to support you and look after your affairs. Would you like her to treat you as you are treating her?  

Or would you like her to be better than you, and to believe you, although you did not believe her, and to support you, although you let her down, and to treat you kindly although you are treating her harshly, and to be forbearing towards you although you are treating her ignorantly. 

By Allaah, even the sweeter of the two is bitter. 

Choose for yourself the path of kindness. "Is there any reward for good other than good?" [al-Rahmaan 55:60]